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| (Live By the Sword...) |
CHAPTER 1: Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo Stick!
Jesus H. Christ! Love him, hate him? Believer, non- Believer? That is not what this post is about. This post is about musical influence that Jesus has had over the past 2011 years. It makes sense that possibly the most influential person on our modern society would have crept into the arts over the past couple of millennium and make his presence known. He has affected the lives of billions of individuals through his teachings, whether for the good or for the bad, and that in turn has helped to produce some of the greatest songs in music history.
Now I am not saying I am a believer in Jesus’s powers and what not, and that is why I feel it is important to do this list. Whether you love Jesus or hate him, he has impacted your life. Whether you think he is real or fake, you are still forced to think about him in some context or debate with someone about what their idea of Jesus is. That’s right, no matter whether you are a Christian or not, you have thought about Jesus probably at some point over your life.
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| (Die By the Sword...) |
What is it that made Jesus have such a huge impact over all these years, and what is it that has kept him relevant? At first glance what we see is peace loving hair bearded scraggly lookin' dude who loves performing tricks, practicing home medicine and healing, doing spoken word, and having some good friends to party with. You look a little bit further, and you see a humanitarian, socialist, and advocate for anyone who needed help, and everyone loves to see someone looking out for the little guys. The appeal of Jesus to me is that he is just a laid back bro who is just looking to inspire others to have some good times and not get caught up in hate, competition, comparisons, and so forth. He knew how to relax and enjoy the small things in life,and also took care of shit when it needed to happen. I can dig that and also how he is looking out for all his lil’ bros out there. So what I am saying is this ideas of Jesus and what he represents is definitely not a bad thing at all, and that it is not his fault that his image was co opted by those in control to help keep the lower-class down rather than helping them to elevate.
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| (Metal as Fuck) |
On an important note, Jesus was also metal as fuck. The dude wore a crown of thornz, and hung from a cross by nails out in the desert heat for days. He endorsed others eating his body and drinking his blood. Pretty much everything about the stages of the cross and Easter are metal. Jesus carried his cross down a path called Via Dolorosa ( Latin for "Way of Suffering"), definitely metal. 3 hour eclipse, earthquakes, building destruction, and resurrection of dead saints all while on the cross, hard as nails metal. There is also no debating that rising from the dead is probably one of the most metal things you can do. Now whether it's true or not doesn't matter because the idea of Zombie Jesus spreading the gospel through some infectious bites is a pretty sweet idea. Pretty much the whole atmosphere surrounding this chapter of Jesus is perfect to setting to play doom metal in. I can just imagine huge fuzzed out, deathly slow pounding riffs being blasted through some Orange halfstacks being saturated with massive amounts of feedback between strums, and heavy symbols and ringing combined with a crushing amount of tom hits, and ear bursting loudness coming from the bass, and each time Jesus takes a heart-wrenching step with his cross, the note blasts out in perfect rhythm with his pace helping to exemplify the pain, agony and intensity of the struggle he is currently going through. You can feel each step feeling like it weighs 300 lbs, and reverberating pain that penetrates the body.This would be followed by a droned out Sun O))) meets psychedelic Neurosis inspired tune while hanging on the cross. If this doesn't convince you of Jesus metal credibility maybe clips from this comic will help out. Jesus fighting Nazis?
Another fact about Jesus, dude knew how to party, and knew how to bring the good times. Who else do you know that provided some free food for thousands listening to his spoken word tour, who else shows up to a wedding and brews some fuckin' wine tastier than anything else. It’s Jesus H. Christ, and the H is not for hardcore, but for hugs. Whether the dude was spiritual, or practiced some wicked primitive medicine, I know that Jesus helped out those in need. He was looking out for the prostitutes, thieves, hobos, and just everyone who has had a bad hand dealt their way. He would just go around healing people, curing the diseased, and playing the role of public defender for women about to get stoned by angry mobs. “Jesus was way Cool” by King Missile is a great description of how I feel towards Jesus. It is a song that tells his sweet story, and highlights the cool things he probably would’ve continued to do had he not died. It was for these reasons that Jesus is so well remembered, he inspires hope for those looking to him for guidance. He inspires disgust to those looking at what arose out of his teachings in the form of modern religion. He inspires the imagination in what-if scenarios of different settings, stories and opinions that would happen in an alternative Jesus dimension. It brings up the question for me if Jesus approves of how he is being portrayed in the music that brings his name.That answer shall be discussed in Chapter 2 with another Jesus endorsed mixtape!
SFMTC Vol. 2a – Jumpin' Jesus on a Pogo Stick! Track List
1. 01. The Velvet Underground – “Jesus” – ‘The Velvet Underground’
2. 02. Dir En Grey – “Jesus Christ R’n’R” – Wither to Death
3. 03. Cindy Lee Berryhill – “When Did Jesus Become a Republican” – ‘Beloved Stranger’
4. 04. Pilgrim Travelers – “Jesus Hits Like an Atomic Bomb” – Unknown
5. 05. Captains America – “Jesus Christ was the First Emoboy and Pornostar” – ‘Friends in Need’
6. 06. Nirvana – “Jesus Doesn’t Want Me for a Sunbeam” – ‘MTV Unplugged in New York’
7. 07. Porter Wagoner & Blackwood Bros. – “If Jesus Came to Your House” – ‘In Gospel Country’
8. 08. Tom Waits – “Jesus Gonna Be Here” – ‘Beautiful Maladies’
9. 09. Reagan Youth – “Jesus was a Communist” – ‘A Collection of Pop Classics’
10. Frank Verrill – “Jesus at Thy Command” – ‘My Ship Shall Sail the Ocean’
11. ZZ Top – “Jesus Just Left Chicago” – ‘Tres Hombres’
12. Minutemen – “Jesus and Tequila” – ‘Double Nickels on the Dime’
13. Ry Cooder – “Jesus on the Mainline” – ‘Paradise and Lunch’
14. Nashville Pussy – “Lazy Jesus” – ‘From Hell to Texas’
15. Ajudanti Di Papa Noel – “Rezarei Todas As Noites Ate Que Jesus…” – ‘unknown’
16. Johnny Cash – “Personal Jesus” – ‘American IV’
17. Kurt Vile – “Jesus Fever” – ‘Smoke Ring for my Halo’
18. Doobie Brothers – “Jesus is Just Alright” – ‘Greatest Hits’
19. Andrew Jackson Jihad – “Be Afraid of Jesus” – ‘Candy Cigarettes and Cap Guns’
20. Rudimentary Peni – “Army of Jesus” – ‘Death Church’
21. Spacemen 3 – “Walking with Jesus” – ‘The Perfect Prescriptions’
22. Blind Willie Johnson – “Jesus is Coming Soon” – ‘The Complete Blind Willie Johnson Collection’
23. Hank Williams Sr. – “Jesus Remembered Me” – ‘I Saw the Light’
24. Slayer – “Jesus Saves” – ‘Reign in Blood’
25. Jello Biafra & Mojo Nixon – “Plastic Jesus” – ‘Prairie Home Invasion
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