Chapter 3: Jesus, He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
This shift in image has lead us to having a lot of “Christian” music stars that aren’t very Christian like. Tolerance, being accepting, empathy for others, and working for a greater good rather than solely individual prosperity has been lost on a lot (but not all) of these folks. It has also crept it’s way into sports, and pretty much most dominating public figure-type profession. I think a lot of them take on a Joel Osteen prosperity gospel style of Christian, were the wealth is god’s reward for pious Christians. And maybe that it is true, but not Jesus’s god. So that is what has me confused.
Christian metal has become popular in the past 10 years or so, and some bands have some alright tunes. I remember in the early 2000’s half of the Houston hardcore punk scene was into the Christian metalcore, and would mosh hard for Jesus. Jesus himself definitely moshed hard, we don’t doubt that, and there is no reason for a bunch of bandanna wearing Zao loving Tooth and Nail fans to flex their machoness in a pit. You had pop punk bands on tooth an nail (slick shoes, mxpx,, ect.) and then too many to list metalcore-tough guy hardcore hybrids (disciple, figure four, zao, living sacrifice, strongarm) and at that time, it seemed like every other band of that style was writing breakdowns for Christ. There was a time I think the main thing that was interesting to see was there were two factions of Christian punk kids. There was the group who were hardcore -punk rock kids, and happened to be Christian, and got behind all sides of the scene. The other half was just a group of Christian kids who just showed up for bands on Christian labels and got aggro, and then never stuck around for others. Fortunately that has been dying out, and the kids just in the scene to mosh for Christ have jumped onto whatever the next Jesus train is.The other aspect was the straight edge for Christ bit. Jesus fuckin drank wine and does not give a shit if you are edge. If you are straight edge, you should be because that it is important to you to take care of your body and it's not someone else making a decision for you. Fortunately Christianity and Straight Edge have distance themselves again, at least from what I have noticed.
It was really interesting for me to look at that and see how easily I can laugh off Christian metal, and then fully accept a gospel album by country and western artists or praise songs by old blues men. If you have ever seen the South Park Christian music episode, then that kind of sums up my feelings. You have this group of dudes who want to show that they are just as cool, hip and extreme as their counterparts, but they also love God and Jesus. It’s not that you can’t be extreme, and part of the counterculture and love Jesus, but bringing Jesus and God into the counterculture just does not work.
People can then argue that straight edge, vegetarianism, hare Krishna, PC-ness are all things that have invaded the scene and should not be allowed as well. The main thing that I have to say to that is those are the countercultures of our day, and definitely have more of a place than Christianity. As stated earlier, Jesus was the counterculture for his time, but due to what it has come to represent in our modern culture, he is no longer applicable to certain underground segments. You could argue that it’s time to take back the image of Jesus, and I just don’t have too much investment on that side. Once again, this all just my opinion too, and I am kind of a jaded aging man. Anyways, that’s the end, enjoy the final mix and decide for yourself whether or not Jesus was good or bad for our musical history.
So as we come into the final chapter of the Jesus Chronicles, we get to explore the other side of Jesus music (in talk, not in the mix). While Jesus has inspired a lot of great music, unfortunately today we have been saturated with massive amounts of crap trying to pass itself off as music. We have seen Jesus be adopted by the right wing as a mascot for injustice, and we have seen the evolution of Christian rock and metal. “Jesus was a good guy, and he didn’t need this shit” was said very nicely by Mr. John Prine. Jesus definitely represented a much more leftist figure. “When did Jesus become a Republican” by Cindy Lee Berryhill and “Jesus was a Communist” by Reagan Youth are two songs that take much different musical approaches, and captured the idea of Jesus being misrepresented very well. I think I remember him once saying, “Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."
This shift in image has lead us to having a lot of “Christian” music stars that aren’t very Christian like. Tolerance, being accepting, empathy for others, and working for a greater good rather than solely individual prosperity has been lost on a lot (but not all) of these folks. It has also crept it’s way into sports, and pretty much most dominating public figure-type profession. I think a lot of them take on a Joel Osteen prosperity gospel style of Christian, were the wealth is god’s reward for pious Christians. And maybe that it is true, but not Jesus’s god. So that is what has me confused. Secular music itself definitely embraces a christian image for a lot of artists. You see so many times people thanking God or Jesus at award shows, or stating how they wouldn’t be able to do what they are doing without the blessing of Jesus. I am glad they have faith and it helps them out (I just hope their personal lives reflect their beliefs as well), the main thing that upsets me though is people discounting the work they have done. People would tell me when something great happens that I should thank god about what had happened, and I would think, “so all the effort that I put into this doesn’t mean anything”. People work to achieve talents, foster abilities, and improve themselves and that is due to personal perseverance and the credit needs to go to the individuals involved. Maybe it is their faith in god or Jesus that inspires them, and that is ok to state, but don’t give credit to god when you have put in all the work. Anyways, these groups aren’t always singing outright Christian tunes either, so lets look at Christian rock.
When I think about Christian rock I kind of want to vomit. I think of those cheesy concerts that you see on infomercials that advertise the latest in the movement. I can’t judge too much, I have been involved in music movements in a hardcore fashion and get stoked on whats going on. I just can’t get behind the cheesiness, and maybe that is because I am missing that key element of Faith. Either way, most Christian rock musically just really does not do the trick for me. Looking back, you can blame hippies for that creation of Jesus music scene. The 1960’s and 70’s in California had a lot of people playing minimalistic folk and rock music, doing heroin and having lots of free love, and then they decided to be born again and keep playing tunes but about how god is awesome. I am all for some Jesus inspired tunes, but the candy coated sugary Christian musical festival garbage that is being fed to kids at Jesus camps across the Midwest is an utter waste of audio space, and most would be better off taking an electric sander and grinding it in their ears. Anyone remember DC Talk, Jars of Clay, Stryper, P.O.D., or OC Supertones? If you do, you are probably trying to forget it. These bands in particular opened to door for an uglier creation: Christian punk and metal.
Christian metal has become popular in the past 10 years or so, and some bands have some alright tunes. I remember in the early 2000’s half of the Houston hardcore punk scene was into the Christian metalcore, and would mosh hard for Jesus. Jesus himself definitely moshed hard, we don’t doubt that, and there is no reason for a bunch of bandanna wearing Zao loving Tooth and Nail fans to flex their machoness in a pit. You had pop punk bands on tooth an nail (slick shoes, mxpx,, ect.) and then too many to list metalcore-tough guy hardcore hybrids (disciple, figure four, zao, living sacrifice, strongarm) and at that time, it seemed like every other band of that style was writing breakdowns for Christ. There was a time I think the main thing that was interesting to see was there were two factions of Christian punk kids. There was the group who were hardcore -punk rock kids, and happened to be Christian, and got behind all sides of the scene. The other half was just a group of Christian kids who just showed up for bands on Christian labels and got aggro, and then never stuck around for others. Fortunately that has been dying out, and the kids just in the scene to mosh for Christ have jumped onto whatever the next Jesus train is.The other aspect was the straight edge for Christ bit. Jesus fuckin drank wine and does not give a shit if you are edge. If you are straight edge, you should be because that it is important to you to take care of your body and it's not someone else making a decision for you. Fortunately Christianity and Straight Edge have distance themselves again, at least from what I have noticed.It was really interesting for me to look at that and see how easily I can laugh off Christian metal, and then fully accept a gospel album by country and western artists or praise songs by old blues men. If you have ever seen the South Park Christian music episode, then that kind of sums up my feelings. You have this group of dudes who want to show that they are just as cool, hip and extreme as their counterparts, but they also love God and Jesus. It’s not that you can’t be extreme, and part of the counterculture and love Jesus, but bringing Jesus and God into the counterculture just does not work. 
People can then argue that straight edge, vegetarianism, hare Krishna, PC-ness are all things that have invaded the scene and should not be allowed as well. The main thing that I have to say to that is those are the countercultures of our day, and definitely have more of a place than Christianity. As stated earlier, Jesus was the counterculture for his time, but due to what it has come to represent in our modern culture, he is no longer applicable to certain underground segments. You could argue that it’s time to take back the image of Jesus, and I just don’t have too much investment on that side. Once again, this all just my opinion too, and I am kind of a jaded aging man. Anyways, that’s the end, enjoy the final mix and decide for yourself whether or not Jesus was good or bad for our musical history.SFMTC Vol. 2c – Jesus, He Could've Baked the Most Delicious Cake in the World
01. The Supersuckers – “Sweet n Sour Jesus” – ‘The Smoke of Hell’
02. Ramases – “Jesus Come Back” – ‘Space Hymns’
03. Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper – “Jesus at McDonalds” – ‘Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper’
04. Ben Harper & the Blind Boys of Alabama – “Picture of Jesus” – ‘There Will be a Light’
05. The Locust – “Anything Jesus Does I Can Do Better” – ‘Plague Soundscapes’
06. The Charlatans – “Jesus Hairdo” – ‘Melting Pot’
07. JD Crowe & the New South – “I Shall Be at Home with Jesus” – ‘The Model Church’
08. Blood for Blood - "My Jesus Mercy" - 'Serenity'
09. Merle Haggard & Bonnie Owens – “Wait a Little Longer Please, Jesus” – ‘Just Between the Two of Us’
10. Roberta Flack – “I Told Jesus” – ‘First Take’
11. Swan’s Silvertone Singers – “Jesus is God’s Atomic Bomb” – ‘Atomic Platters’
12. The Birthday Party – “Big Jesus Trash Can” – ‘Junkyard’
13. Funeral Mist – “Jesus Saves” – ‘Maranatha’
14. The Bates Family – “Nothing but the Blood of Jesus” – ‘ Kentucky Roots’
15. My Revenge – “Jesus was Black” – ‘Less Plot, More Blood’
16. Guster – “Jesus on the Radio” – ‘Keep it Together’
17. Impossible Shapes – “Jesus and Squares” – ‘Laughter Fills Our Hollow Dome’
18. The Gourds – “Jesus Christ (With Signs Following) – ‘Bolsa de Agua’
19. Jeff Tweedy – “Softly and Tenderly Jesus is Calling” – ‘Chelsea Walls’
20. Alisson Krauss & Union Station – “Jesus Help Me to Stand” – ‘Every Time you Say Goodbye’
21. XfilesX – “Real Edgemen Hate Jesus” – ‘7 inch’
22. Big Joe Williams – “Jesus Gonna Make Up My Dying Bed” – ‘Big Joe Williams’
23. Ben Folds – “Jesusland” – ‘Songs for Silverman’
24. Marshall Tucker Band – “Jesus Never Had a Motorcycle” – ‘The Next Adventure’
25. B.J. Thomas – “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” – ‘Peace in the Valley”
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