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| (Depression...) |
Depression, suicide, anxiety, uncertainty, self-loathing, hopelessness are all afflictions found quite rampant in our modern society. It seems mind-blowing how present these things have come to be, and how aware we are of these individual struggles that happen every day. It always makes me wonder why has there been such a rise in these mental health issues. Is it because our population has expanded, are we just overall more aware, or has our modern society affected and groomed us as people to take on more of these traits. Whatever the reason, it is easy to see how many chose to use art forms as expressions and emotional releases for these difficult thoughts.
Looking back over the past several hundred years we have seen music and art as a sanctuary for those overwhelmed by the processes of their brains. We had Van Gogh cut off his ear, we have had to dark poets such as Edgar Allen Poe, and many composers were sad to be a little mad in their heyday. There is something to be said about music that is fueled by these intense feelings. The power of the words, the darkness of a lot of the melody and just the overall agony can appear and feel so real to the listener, and that is what I know sucks me in. I think that is what sucks in most people and that is because most can relate to that head space, others live in it every day, and some pretend as if it’s not there. What is so appealing about the music for me is that here are some people who are open and honest enough to express this, and don’t give a shit how they may be judged. It takes a lot of courage to look at, discuss and fight depression or suicide or low self-image, and these people are opening up a pathway at least for understanding.
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| (Trapped...) |
Now you also get those who sing about similar topics and just seem insincere about it, or the lyrics are overly cheesy and feel forced. Not so much into that. I don’t know if any of you reading this blog have ever pondered suicide, or struggled with thought-debilitating depression, but there is really know way to describe it. The idea and the illusion of power that comes with ending one’s own life is one of the biggest appeals I feel. When the whole world around you seems to be shitting on you, when nothing that you do eases the day to day pain, when even getting out of bed is so agonizing that it takes a mental battle, ending one’s life doesn’t seem so bad. Especially because it is the only thing that one seems to have control over, it is the one step you can take that will end this pain and take away these horrible things we feel, the counter to that is that it takes away the good things too, and they do eventually come back.
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| (Vincent Crane of Atomic Rooster) |
When a song can bring you to tears, it is one of the most cathartic processes that I experience. As people we are taught to hold in all of our negative emotions, and really for the most part when people ask, “how was your day?”, they are not looking to hear, “it has been horrible, I barely got out of bed and every other thought I have is how to make this pain end”. It’s not really a conversation starter, so a lot of us are forced to bear this burden that we can barely understand ourselves. That is where this style of music really appeals to me. I can listen and hear the pain in an artist’s voice, the somber melody they create perfectly reflects the mood that has already overpowered me. What it does is bring out to a point that I am able to start to recognize and release it, and I no longer have to carry this load around with me all the time. Sure it builds back up, but that is why we call it a coping skill. Coping skills help us out in those moments of despair, frustration, hopelessness, and so on and music is probably one of the great coping skills ever created.
There are also a lot of songs out there with melancholic instrument composition, but have a more optimistic or hopeful point of view. I call these fake-sad songs. They are able to draw out a kind of sadness, but also a kind of relief. You never feel at the end of the line, and it illustrates the struggle and eventual weight that can be lifted when your luck starts to turn.
On the list I didn’t really include any “depressive” metal songs, there are some metal bands that do it well (Metallica’s “fade to black” as a prime example), but most just don’t hit me like a good country or piano based song. You have a lot of cheesy nu-metal songs about depression, and most read more like a high school student’s diary than anything else. I guess that is how they connect to all those youth in agony, and metal for me was always an outlet for other emotions. I left the depression fix for other’s to fill.
I think another difference that needs to be pointed out is depression vs. heart ache. While I have included a few heartache songs because they really make me sad, and bring out some of that intense agony, for the most part heart ache is temporary. Heart ache is a situational case that has a distinct cause, and a more identifiable solution. It is not to say the pain felt in the midst is any less than that of someone who suffers from depression, but it is not as consistent in one’s life. Heart ache has always been a popular topic in music, and probably deserves its own entry, so we won’t delve too much into it today.
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| (Suicide...) |
Suicide is a specific topic I find really interesting to see in music. It was made even more interesting by the 80’s and the PMRC and Tipper Gore’s blaming of heavy metal artists influencing children and teenagers to kill themselves. You had bands like Judas Priest and Ozzy Osborne being thrown into the spotlight, and in a sense gaining more press due to these events. All I can speak to is my own experiences, and if I really was planning on killing myself, it wouldn’t be a band talking about it that would push me that final step. I would have already been struggling with it for months probably, there would have been signs way before, and I would have been calling out for help. If anything, it is picking a song that can communicate to those who come and find you what you were experiencing. It is unfortunate when any individual chose to take their own life and it is the responsibility of their loved ones to notice those signs. To put blame on musicians is just wrong, and it is a grief stricken blame-shifting mentality that happens when you lose someone close to you, and it is hard to look inward at your own choices. Musicians do make easy fall people.
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| (Despair...) |
It is interesting though to listen to the amounts of music influenced by mental breakdowns, and the styles and approaches that are taken. “Nervous Breakdown” by Black Flag (not included) embodies the frantic feeling of losing your wits in, Keith Morris’s howls at the end are mind wrenching and I can envision myself just ripping my hair out by the clumps. You then have Billie Holiday’s version of “Gloomy Sunday” which could be said to be the most depressing song of all time, and is known as the Hungarian suicide song. The mid-century jazz arrangement enhanced by Billie’s daunting vocals was too much for many countries, and it was banned from the airwaves for being too depressing. “Going to Georgia” by the Mountain Goats may be one of my all-time favorite songs, and is one that really captures that feel of being on the brink of suicide and being saved, and the emotional embattlement of the conflict that one must be feeling. The simple lo-fi guitar tone augments the mood, and the vocals are just laden with the choice you were almost about to see through. All take a different approach musically, and each does an excellent job in capturing the exact feeling the artist is wishing to communicate to the listener.
I know there are plenty of depressing songs out there that may fit on this list. There are probably some that fit better than the ones I chose, but this is what you get. I encourage you to find your own artists and songs that allow you to feel safe to sulk and embrace those more difficult moments in your life and I hope you can enjoy sitting and listening to this all the way through and bask in despair that each song brings.
SFMTC Vol 3 - The Cold Doesnt Bother You When You Are Already Dead On The Inside.
01. Pantera - Suicide Note pt. 1 -'The Great Southern Trendkill'
02. Dust - "I've Been Thinkin" - 'Hard Attack'
03. Lucinda Williams - "Nothin" - 'Poet: A tribute to Townes Van Zandt'
04. Low - "Lord Can You Hear Me?" - 'Tribute to Spacemen 3'
05. The Mountain Goats - "Going to Georgia" - 'The Zopilote Machine'
06. Jean Wells - "I'll Drown In My Own Tears" - 'Soul on Soul'
07. The Lonesome Sisters w/ Rayna Gellert - "Babylon" - 'Follow Me Down'
08. Jeff Buckley - "Hallelujah" - 'Grace '
09. Violent Femmes - "Confessions" - 'Violent Femmes '
10. Johnny Cash - "Hurt" - 'American Recordings: vol 4'
11. Azure Ray - "Displaced" - 'Azure Ray '
12. Lemonheads - "Fade to Black" - 'Best of the Lemonheads '
13. William Elliot Whitmore - "Everyday" - 'Song of the Blackbird '
14. Atomic Rooster - "Winter" - 'Atomic Rooster'
15. Elliot Smith - "Needle in the Hay" - 'Elliot Smith '
16. Kimya Dawson - "Talking Ernest" - 'Im Sorry that Sometimes Im Mean '
17. Norman Blake - "You are My Sunshine" - ' O Brother, Where Art Thou? Soundtrack'
18. Billie Holiday - "Gloomy Sunday" - 'Ken Burns Jazz Series: Billie Holiday '
19. Black Sabbath - "Changes" - 'Vol. 4'
20. Pat Haney - "Waitin' Round to Die" - 'Poet: A Tribute to Townes Van Zandt'
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